World of tears

 

Was I not good enough?

Did I let you down?

 

One moment I was king of the hill

And I was looking

forward to every day with longing, desire

I could trust the fire in my heart

and no matter what the day would bring,

my purpose of being was always the same

and always there for me

you.

 

Now I’m a mall,

no longer standing tall

bent and lonely

listening to a song we once shared

Now I’m lonely again, alone

Gone is all you gave to me

And I’m left

not right

with nothing but a photo album

and a lot of pain,

a lot of anger

Gone is the focus, the light

I see now it blinded me

to what should not be

But only in your mind

It was an inside job,

sealed before we even started

and where does it get us? Me?

I can’t express my resentment

of your stupidity and blindness

of clinging to your mute life and forsaking reason

Because I don’t want to hurt you

and I don’t want you to hurt yourself

I can’t tell you about your religion,

that it’s oppressive, discriminative, uncompromising

 

So what is left for you?

Living in your world, forget about all this ado.

Not “just” like this, but like it anyway.

 

And for me…?

Living in a world that feels like rain,

a world of pain

a world of tears.

 

And that’s all that’s left of all we had?

Since it’s always all been your party anyway

I’ll let you make the call…

Tell me now,

Is there something, anything left

of us, the miracle gone astray

or are you really trying to chuck it all,

throw it all away?

I never had any control,

never had any style

please let me be myself

At least for a little while…

 

Pick up the pieces and start over

Over and over again

Till you find your road to the stars

And when you finally do,

pick me up,

I’ll be waiting out there,

somewhere

looking at the Earth

from a lava island on Mars.

 

MdG 5-10-1999