Grasping at straws

I keep telling myself that I’m grasping at straws

and that my hope for you is a fool’s hope,

but even a fool’s hope is better than no hope

and for the time being, that will do.

Yet is practise in my head all the scenarios,

all of the ways and reasons for you to say ‘no’

and send me spiralling back into the void.

Because I don’t intend for you to read this

if we are not to be,

but I still hope that I may show you

what I could do with you next to me.

For I would set this world ablaze

like a giant Christmas tree

with works that would delight and amuse

if I could call you my muse.

But for now, I toil in silent obscurity,

grasping at straws in my head.

MdG 3-4-2012